In which I am stranded in a parking lot with an armchair
On the beautifully unnecessary and creating sanctuaries
This is me in the summer of 2019, sitting in an armchair in a Portsmouth parking lot at 8:06 pm.
Why?
So glad you asked.
If you’ve been around for awhile, you know I have a chronic illness. What you may not know is that during my junior year of college, my health tanked to a point it never had before. I moved home from college in the spring because I needed some extra care from my family (and because my brain needed a quiet place to cocoon itself, and a college campus is usually not the place for that).
I rested over the summer and as I prepared for my senior year, I decided to live on campus with my saint of a roommate (hi Laura!) and to make it a sanctuary. I would buy fresh fluffy white bedding and light blue throw pillows, put flowers on my desk, play calming music, hang art. My grandfather refinished a little nightstand so I could have a little lamp and a stack of books beside my bed. I was on a mission to make this a place of physical and spiritual rest.
It was August, a week or so before moving in, and I was on a hunt for the perfect lamp. Jack and I walked out of the muggy August evening into a furniture store and right there, front and center, was The Blue Chair.
“You would like that chair,” Jack said.
“I would.”
“Sit in it.”
So I sat. Of course I loved it—it was cozy and blue and very sanctuary-ish. I could picture sipping a cup of tea and spending time with the Lord in this chair. I could picture curling up to read on rainy evenings.
What I could not picture was spending over $200 on something that was unnecessary.
Jack didn’t push. He just did a lap with me around the store, looking for that perfect lamp (which I did eventually find, by the way). But before we left he told me to sit in it again. He offered to buy it for me, as a gift. I refused. I didn’t need it, truly.
“For your room,” he said. “So you can do devotions in a chair instead of on your bed.”
“I like my bed,” I retorted.
“You really want this chair.”
Reader, I did.
He bought it for me, an unnecessary item, and I let him bless me.
We paid with glee and hauled it into the parking lot… only to remember that armchairs do not fit in Honda accords. So we called my brother, who chivalrously borrowed the family minivan, and as we waited I sat in the chair, because why not? People passed us and gave me really weird looks (and who can blame them?). But I was neither embarrassed nor bothered.
I was floating—I had let Jack buy me something so absurdly unnecessary because he loved me and I was about to have the most relaxing, restful, sanctuary-like dorm room Handler Hall had ever seen.
Writing is unnecessary.
When you tell people your major is mechanical engineering they say, “Wow! That sounds so hard!”
When you tell people your major is nursing they say, “Wow! That is so noble!”
When you tell people your major is pre-med they say, “Wow! You must be really smart!”
When you tell people your major is English they say, “Wow… so, uh, what do you think you want to do with that?”
“I’m English education,” I would add. “I want to teach 7th grade.”
A look of relief would flit across their face. “Oh, good, we need more teachers!”
And yet, I am not now a teacher. The wave of illness that sent me home my junior year was also the wrecking ball that demolished my lifelong dream of a career in a classroom. Thankfully, God’s plans are dreamier than my dreams (even if they aren’t always as comfortable) and I am tickled pink to be teaching through discipleship (my day job) and writing (my side-gig).
I’m almost done editing my next book. My computer came everywhere with me this summer and fall so I could write in nooks and crannies of time.
My kitchen counter.
In bed at night.
My grandparents’ house.
In waiting rooms, parking lots, and backyards.
In the car on the way to a rehearsal dinner.
In the dentist’s chair (long story).
But the place I’ve written and edited most often is my blue chair. I sit in it, pray, light a candle, sip my coffee, and listen to the Pride and Prejudice soundtrack while I type away. God created me to create. He’s a storyteller and he passed that down to me.
My book is not changing the world. It’s not a New York Times Bestseller. Most writers can’t make a living off of their work. So why write?
“Story is a trojan horse for truth,” says Russ Ramsey.1 Are things like literature and creative writing unnecessary? Is creativity unnecessary? Is art unnecessary? Are all of these things—ways to reflect the beauty and truth of God—unnecessary?
Every once in a while I’ll get an email, a dm, a text… from a stranger, a friend, a friend’s second cousin’s friend. And they tell me a story of how they were reading the book or an article I wrote when something clicked. They realized God loved them. They were comforted in pain. They got serious about their relationship with Jesus.
No one needs to buy my books or read my newsletter. I don’t need to write these things. But it creates space for us. Comfort. A sanctuary. It is a place we may meet with God.
So I write my unnecessary little books in my unnecessary little chair while I drink my unnecessary cups of coffee. I write in this blue chair, the one Jack bought because he believed that beautiful things are worth having, and I write words that are worth writing. (I hope they’re beautiful, too.)
For the Kingdom,
P.S…..
A few fun things!
I was honored to contribute to Christianity Today’s 2024 Advent devotional, A Time for Wonder. Here it is!!! I would say get yourself a copy, but they already sold out. 🤯
If you are still shopping for Christmas gifts, consider my book, Eternity in Our Hearts! This is the perfect gift for the person in your life who…
is looking for an in-depth study to start their year off in Scripture.
is looking for a daily guide to get them in God’s Word.
needs rest for their soul, peace in their circumstances, and an eternal perspective that frees them to live with unbridled joy.
And it’s still on sale!
Or, if you are looking for a daily study to start in January, consider investing in your walk with the Lord and taking a trip through Ecclesiastes with me!
I feel closest to God when I’m in nature. His creation always points me back to how breathtakingly wonderful He Himself is. Because of that, I’ve been reading through Crossway’s ESV Psalms, Photography Edition, and it is LOVELY.
This edition features each of the 150 psalms alongside photography from Ireland by Tim Kellner. Keith and Kristyn Getty write of these photographs in the foreword, “May they help flesh out the reality of the Psalms in all of life. May they open a door to the childlike joy of discovery in both the small and the grand, the old and the new, the already received and those for which our souls yearn” (p. 6).
This is a beautiful way to read and meditate on Scripture. Crossway sent me this copy in exchange for an honest review, and I highly recommend it! It’s also perfect for your coffee table.
Ramsey, Russ. Rembrandt Is in the Wind. Zondervan, 2022, p. 14.
As a fellow side-gig writer who went to school for education and never became a teacher, I really adore this piece 🥹 I’ll never get tired of hearing how the Lord works all things for our good and His glory!
It’s funny how many “unnecessary” things help us commune with God…